January 2013 Facebook Farm Statuses

  • I’ve decided to start a farm blog. Right now it’s just the intro page, but I’ll start transferring my journal and FB stuff across shortly. Stay tuned…
  • Just spent a quarter hour trying to get pictures of a pig’s penis for Beck Archer. While disturbing, the really horrible thing was what the big boy was trying to do to the little boy to make said pictures possible. Let’s call it… “prison relations”.
  • Was just reading a commercial chicken site and they had the following under the title “Interesting Facts”:
    “An average meat chicken will eat 5kgs of feed in its lifetime, which is approximately 42 days…”
    That’s 6 weeks! Chooks need three things to develop all of the nutrients we need: 1. Exercise, 2. Fresh green forage, and 3. Time to develop. We keep ours 12 to 14 weeks, they range over fresh food, and get lots of exercise. You don’t realise the difference until you see and taste it.
  • Crashed the tractor today. It had a full load on the carry-all and so had no steering. I was using the independent rear brakes to be tricky and steer it between a fully loaded skip and a trailer. Turns out, I’m not as tricky as I thought.
    It potentially could have tipped the tractor on me or trapped my leg between tractor and skip. Somehow I came away relatively unscathed, but half of my pinky toe-nail tore off. Yes, I crashed my tractor and broke a nail. Bwuahahahahahahaha.
  • Question: What do you do when you’re stacking wood in the house paddock while belting out a Cher song at full volume and your neighbour drives slowly past, looking at you incredulously through their open window?
    Answer: You finish strongly and own that shit!
    On a related note, I might love Cher more than most farmers… or straight men.
  • “Why are there pigs in the orchard?!” Not much more than a year ago I would never have guessed I’d hear Linhda say that sentence, and especially not with that level of panic in her voice.
  • Was planting out the last of my corn earlier when I came across a freshly dead mouse. The only mark on him was a small, wet wound. I’m fairly certain he was bitten by a snake. Trust me, that’ll make the rest of your time in the garden a little nervous…
  • The tank for dad’s enviro-cycle septic was delivered today. It’s about 10 feet tall and maybe 8 across.
    Your mission now David, should you choose to accept it, is to fill that giant receptacle. With poop and pee.
  • We’ve had tradies here all day, two of which were plumbers putting in dad’s envirocycle septic. They left the *big* backhoe here, so I went to check it out. Maybe have a sit in it. Maybe make some vroom vroom noises. Maybe see how the bucket went up and down. Maybe just drive it up and down a few times. Maybe use it to reach a couple of high limbs in the pine trees that have been bugging me and knock them down.
    BUT they took the keys with them! They don’t trust me!!!! Stupid vroom vroom noises aren’t the same without the engine going…
  • I pickled some cabbage as a bit of an experiment about 4 weeks ago. Linhda and David were less than complimentary about it. I just cracked one of the jars and it tastes awesome!
    I was going to say “it tastes slawesome” but Peyton threatened to hit me.
    In summary, all three of them can suck it.
  • Happy Australia Day. God bless all those lucky enough to live in God’s own country. 🙂
    On a related note, we picked up the guest of honour for our party today. Weighing in at an impressive 28kg, he’s about a third bigger than I was expecting. He’s now trussed and spinning over charcoal. Fingers crossed…
  • Today, for the first time in a year, we’re having a weekend day off of farm work. At the same time, today is probably the fifth day in the last six weeks that I’ve worn deodorant. In fact, it’s the second day in a row! Look at me, Mr. Fancy Pants!
Miss January. Hubba Hubba!

Miss January. Hubba Hubba!

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