December 2013 Facebook Farm Statuses

  • Fun Farm Fact #41: If your cat catches and eats a mouse in the middle of the night, and then vomits said mouse up just a step outside your bedroom door, the chances of you stepping in it have been mathematically calculated at 100%. True story.

    That’s not me talking. That’s science.

  • Today we processed our own birds for the first time. We’ve had something like 60 poultry done, but all professionally. The advantage of doing it ourselves it that every single bit of the bird is used – blood, viscera, feathers on the compost, organs to the dogs, meat in our bellies, bones dried and ground for the garden. The disadvantage is that it’s gross and we’re not very good at it yet. Still, I reckon that with some planning and patience we can become pros.
    In related news, I’ve been banned from posting pics from today on FB. The blog is fair game though… 🙂
  • Picked up our latest goat, Howard, from “The Other Farm” yesterday, and one of the butchers carried out two boxes full of meat. The conversation was a little awkward:

    Guy: “This isn’t just one goat. It’s too big.”
    Me: “No, it’s just the one.”
    Guy: “He was a big goat then?”
    Me: “Ummmm, no. He was just… a little fat.”
    Guy: <raised one eyebrow at me judgementally>
    Fat goat conversations aside, this is, hands-down, the best goat/sheep meat we’ve ever raised. It’s perfect.

  • Not only have THEY made me come inside early, THEY made me shower the poop-water off (it’s fertilizer day in The Patch) AND put deodorant on. Next THEY will ask me to wear pants at our family lunch. NEVER! A man has to draw the line somewhere…
  • Linhda tonight at dinner: “I really like pork fat. Is that bad?”

    No baby, no it is not.

  • Just picked up our guns, after 6 months of paperwork, theory and practical tests, and paying fees to get our licenses, and then 6 weeks of more paperwork, fees, and waiting to get the guns. In hindsight, the 2,400 rounds of various ammunition may be a little overboard…
  • Two years ago we were buying stock feed by the bag and small bale. A year ago we started getting it a tonne-at-a-time. A few weeks ago we bought 14 half-tonne rolls of hay and yesterday we bought 8 tonnes of barley.
    That escalated quickly…
  • Tried to fix the bees for the 10th time and only got one sting! I call that an epic win.

    Of course, the hives are still messed up, and I’m beginning to suspect poor quality advice and equipment from the apiarist. It’s either that or I don’t understand what he was telling me, and that clearly can’t be the case…

  • First snake of the Summer. Even worse in this weather is that it’s too hot out so they want to come in.
  • Pickling a metric butt-load of onions and listening to Barry White. Smelling oniony, but feeling sexy!
  • The dogs caught and killed a mouse in the shed! That might now sound like news, but normally the 3 of them catching a mouse is like watching the English cricket team try and take a catch in the outfield – lots of running around, wanting it early on, and then leaving it for somebody else. It’s a proud day. For the dogs. Not the English cricket team.
  • Linhda: “You know how I’m a good girlfriend who is always thinking of your needs?”
    Me: <looks up expecting something bad> “Yup”
    Linhda: “Well, I was in the shed, and saw you had a 6-pack of Fat Yak on the bench…”
    Me: <starting to panic a little> “Okay..”
    Linhda: “I thought I’d put it in the fridge for you…”
    Me: “Why are your socks wet Linhda?!”
    Linhda: “Ummmmm”
    Me: “WHY ARE YOUR SOCKS WET?!?!?!?!?!?!”
    Turns out she dropped the 6-pack. Three bottles broke. I’m off to lick my shed floor. BRB.
  • Get a call from our old farmer neighbour to meet him by the back fence. Get there and he’s got a freshly (still warm) killed and cleaned rabbit for me! I LOVE living in the country.

    Now I need to work out how to cook rabbit.

  • Had a bit of a ‘sup? moment with a brown snake in The Patch this afternoon. I was harvesting, he was moving through, we shared a quick nod, and then went our separate ways.

    In related news, gumboots are compulsory footwear in The Patch now, even in Summer.

  • Pigs are smarter than dogs, argument in the negative #1:

    Boris, our boar, was just stuck with insulated electric wire (for the zappy fence) stuck behind his giant tusks. He was pulling back, stuck hard, bloody spit everywhere, when a quarter step forward would have freed him. My plan was to push him forward that quarter step when I realised that a quarter tonne of super-pissed-off-and-in-pain boar may not like that, so I cut him free.

    The moral: bolt cutters may, literally, save your fingers.

  • About to get my first confirmed starling kill when Clarisse comes up behind me and nudges me in the back with her quite sharp horns. I’m calling interference! Even a navy seal would miss a shot in those conditions!
    Also, the starlings are pretty safe. The best I can manage is to scare them off with the noise of the air rifle, which in reality achieves the goal we’re after.
  • Linhda had a nightmare (her word) where she was surrounded with ripe tomatoes but didn’t have time to preserve them all.
    Yes, her “nightmare” is having too much food. FWFP (First World Farm Problems).
  • My new weather station says it’s 40.8 degrees and 20% humidity outside, but 26 degrees and 53% humidity in the house. I love both my new weather station and my evaporative cooler.

 

Miss December

Miss December

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